Continuing posting from my collection of bizzare quotes from the year 2000 to the present
i've created more poop outta my ass than god created the earth
-BB (on creationism)
I was taken advantage of by a drunken slutty jewish dominatrix.
-BC
So do we know the Village People were gay? --well, I mean everybody dressed like that in the 70's.
-BB
He said three things to me, two were ridiculously jealous and then... he has a large collection of dildos
-BB
One was a wet dream about Popeye and Olive Oil
Oh i wish i had whores in my pockets... small ones.
If you want to come over to the dark side you have to come through me
-BB
It wadn't no argument, it was more like an exchange of smartassin'
-Moron-face
Damn that's screwed up... Paper cuts us, but if you try to cut paper with paper --it don't.
-Moron-face
(rubs hands on door... smells them)
(defeated sigh)
I ain't gonna never get my hands clean, under my fingernails... hell, I'll be 80 years old when they get clean
-Moron-face
Yeah she's alright to a point but nothing I'd particularly care to shove my ding-a-ling into.
-Moron-face
On Mondays we, you know how I told ya about Judy comin' over and messin' around. And that what we do on Mondays. Well now she's wanting to set up shit for Wednesdays and she wants me to pick the girl. It just ain't easy findin' a girl who wants her ass licked, or her puss. Ya know well she's on top of me... (he realizes as he's been talking I've furiously been scribbling... though still doesn't realize what I've been writing) You aren't interested in any of this kinda shit are ya?
-Moron-face
I don't know what got her into that shit. we broke up for uh... like four months, and when we got back together she was all liken' girls. I think sometimes maybe she like girls more than ding-a-lings.
-Moron-Face
I saw that car and I bullshit you not I got a hard-on you can bounce on like a fucking pogo-stick. That's how much I wanted it. I mean, it's like, have you ever wanted something so bad you would do anything?
-Moron-face
1st that's a Sunday. When I get off I'm gonna go up there that day. I want to be one of the first, the very first people in line to see the Yugioh movie
-Moron-face
People is always saying "you're 28 you need to stop watching kids cartoons", I say there's just some things I like.
“you're 28 you need to grow up” you want to tell that to Kelsey shes 7 yrs old and still watches Barney --God I hate the purple queer
-Moron-face
I threw a cigarette out the window, and I don't know, how but it went out my window and came around the passengers side and burned me.
-Moron-face
She makes Misty look like Mary Poppins
I always ended up peeing on myself...
-b sulivan
Not everyone knows how to play poker but everyone knows how to watch porn and pleasure themselves
I only fucked him because he was in my bed
-BB (on explaining why he's not a slut)
They played a prank on me how could I be so snookered!
-BB
BB: so, how large is the vagina
JC: well it depends... usually six inches is that good enough an asnwer?
BB: It doesn't matter to me
-Brian and Janis Casseiere
(Leaning back on bed with hand over head dramatically) Oh what makes me so desirable?
-BB
because one time... we did jack-off... together... in a tent
-BB
I saw a production of hair and you know in that one song where everybody is naked.... but it was beautiful. and there were breasts and I even thought that was beautiful.
-BB
Honey I fuck you in the ass all the time I'm gay. I let you fuck me in the ass all the time. there's no part of me that's straight.
-BB (Trying to subdue Leeds jealousy over a hot girl in a movie)
So let me get this straight, She watching gummi bears and bouncing here and there and everywhere... and you're at home watching pride and prejudice and crying your eyes out. --Damn being smart.
-Scott Conley
Sort socks or vote the choice is yours.
-Mastriani
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